The super-villain clubhouse, no girls mommies allowed
by ChinaE
Summary: DOOM and Loki are chilling in DOOM's lab, tinkering, trying to crack the secrets of immortality. The experiment literally blows up in their faces, triggering automatic safety spells, and when the dust clears they have BOTH been turned into children.
1. Chapter 1

~oo00oo~

"No!" Doom stomps his foot, upset at being denied his treat.

The manservant bows and tries to hide his smile. "Young Master – Master," he corrects. "If we feed you anymore chocolate, you'll get a tummy ache."

Little Victor crosses his arms and looks back petulantly. "Doom gets no tummy ache." He declares as he pushes himself up onto the sofa.

They both turn around as a young child emerges from the Buzz the Lightyear tent, holding on tightly to his Bullseye plushie.

Loki rubs his eyes and yawns aloud. He's three-and-a-half years of age to Victor's six, and quite displeased at being awaken from his nap. "Tor?" he calls, glancing about the makeshift playroom, which only yesterday had been the entertainment room.

The movie Bambi plays on the big TV. Plushies and action figures are scattered around the room.

He bites his lip and with a worried look calls out again, "Or!"

Victor jumps down from the sofa and makes his way to Loki's side. "Loki, no cry." He all but commands, even as he reaches over to rustle Loki's unruly curls. "It's okay." He then pats Loki on the head.

"Ictor?" Loki hiccups and holds Bullseye tighter.

"We need milk," Victor commands, as he takes Loki's hand and walks them to the sofa. Helping Loki up, Victor grabs a blanket and restarts their movie.

When the servant returns, he finds both children asleep with a young Victor sucking his thumb.

~0~

Yesterday

As experiments go, this was supposed to have been a simple one. A spell here, a potion ingredient there, a promise of immortality shared. For of all those who had allied themselves with Loki, was not Victor the most worthy?

And useful?

The spell to give Victor immortality and if it truly failed return them as they were mortal and god.

But Chaos follows Loki regardless of intent, and she kisses upon her favourite son and his companion, a second chance to be renewed, to relive their childhood and have as much makeshift fun, as two powerful, mischievous children could.

~0~

Present

"What?"

S.H.I.E.L.D. has spies everywhere, even in Latveria. They keep taps on Doom, and are usually not surprised at his machinations. Except, this one is not about Doom and his doombots, or his fixations on Thor's dastardly brother, Loki. No, the report send to them by their spy spoke of Doom declaring his love of chocolate and sending his doombots to collect a sample of all the chocolate in the world.

"This makes no sense – " Barton comments as he rereads the printed email.

Coulson read the other reports send from their other agents. Reports that talk about a series of kids appearing and disappearing at an Opera in Sweden and stealing the singers headpiece, to two boys using the Euro 2012 cup, filling it with milk and dipping their oreo cookies into the large cup.

There are also pictures on Tumblr of two boys at various events, photobombing more like.

"Are you sure it's them?" Fury asks his men.

Coulson sighs deeply.

"According to the intelligent reports, it is them." The report had been clear, S.H.I.E.L.D.'s two most wanted villains had been de-aged and were now spent most of their time napping, playing, ordering their devoted minions around and visiting the world. "The spy mentioned that the younger, Loki, has lost his plush toy and seems most distressed. The doombot has been send to retrieve the lost toy, and until it is found Doom has been distracting Loki by visiting all of these places." Pictures of the young villains in Disneyworld, Comic Con, Eiffel Tower and the New York Metropolitan Zoo are displayed on the computer screen.

"Assemble the Avengers." Fury informs Coulson.

"And Thor?"

Fury glare intensifies. "Let him stay in Asgard."

Heaven help them if anything were to happen to Loki in this form, Coulson has no doubt Thor would go big-brother on them all.

~0~

Amora has heard inklings across the cosmos, Latveria is for the taking.

She laughs deliciously. Would Thor not be forever gracious, if she returns his lost brother to him? If she protects his oh so vulnerable neck and ensures Loki's head stays attached to his shoulders?

Would Thor not welcome her back into his arms and bed?

And who better help Thor raise his de-aged sibling, than Amora herself, a goddess, she who once been Loki's childhood friend? Who knew him best, far better than Sif?

Yes, she will make Thor see that he is in need of her. And if in a few years Loki meets his death? Well, she will of course shed a few tears.

"Skourge, get your weapons. We have a kingdom to invade."

~0~

Wilson Grant Fisk a.k.a. The Kingpin, one of the most prominent figures of organized crime looks content as he reads the latest report. With Doom gone, Latveria is for the taking. Its ports will be used as a haven to hide their weapons, drug trade and their people a valued commodity for human traffickers of every type.

Yes, many have wanted this small country but none have been able to wrestle it from Doom, until now.

He laughs. It seems the fool has de-aged himself. His smile turns vicious when he finds out Doom has also de-aged his most trusted ally, Loki.

Loki – who will fetch a worthy prize.

Loki the trickster. Loki the god of chaos. Loki who has humiliated Kingpin and all those who dared overstep and try to hurt Thor.

If his brother experienced a bit of pain, this according to Loki is acceptable, but anything that results in permanent death will be frowned upon.

Oh, to finally put Loki in his place, underneath Kingpin's heel.

~0~

Morgan Le Fay, one of the most powerful sorcerers in Earth's history, twirls the potion in her cup.

"Oh, poor, poor Victor." How grateful will he be to be returned to his true age? After all, no one in their right mind would want to experience puberty again.

Her smile is quite wicked. How much fun they will have. How tempting it will be to take up again with him, with a Victor now unscarred.

She did after all deserve a more worthy lover, one that at least could match her beauty.

~0~

Meanwhile in Asgard ...

"My Prince, we need to talk."

~0~

Victor is most displeased. He and his best friend had been eating the most delicious cupcakes, while their nanny read to them Harry Potter, the story of a boy who like them could conjure up all sorts of interesting things, when all of these strangers dared to frighten his friend.

He will not stand for it.

He is Doom.

And he will protect his Loki.

~0~

"Ad man!" Loki screams, quite angry at having his playtime disrupted, eyes shifting from the strangers to large hole in the ceiling

They'd been eating cupcakes during reading time when alarms around the palace erupt forcing the two mini-villains to cover their ears.

Victor throws a cupcake at Skourge. The cupcake hits the man on the face.

"Why you – "

Chaos ensues as one enchantress fights against the other, as Kingpin and his men fight against S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and as Victor with Loki's help takes down Skourge.

~0~

"– they dare to threaten my brother!"

The sky above Asgard darkens.

~0~

A distracted Loki runs towards his lost plush toy. Bullseye has been here the whole time. He thought his toy lost –

"Bullseye, no!" The bad man steps on the toy, tearing it in the process.

Enough.

The bad man has hurt Loki's toy –

His lower lip trembles.

"Rother –" he hiccups wanting his brother by his side. He wipes his tears and eyes harden, as the large man now grabs hold of Victor, tossing the little boy to the ground.

Angry now, Loki calls forth his magic, making it work just like in the book, and accio'd Victor to Loki's side.

"Ictor?"

And then thunder lights the sky.

~0~

Victor is quite displeased when he comes to and finds a very large, long-hair, blonde, strange, hefty girl hugging his friend. That Loki calls this girl, "Thor," or more precisely "Or" is something not worth thinking about. She's acceptable for now.

The girl seems to at least have some uses, quite eager indeed to bow to their needs if this delicious ice-cream is anything to go by.

"After we are done, you will read to us Harry Potter." Victor commands.

Loki claps his hands.

Victor smiles, for his play dates are certainly the best.

~End~


	2. The 14 Acts of the de-aged King

~0~

1. Victor is quite displeased when their new nanny takes them to live in New York. He thinks it is unfair they are leaving behind their cook, who makes the most delicious cookies and cakes, and no amount of hugs from Loki will make Victor change his mind.

2. Avengers soon discover that both children love Disney movies and can spend hours curled up, watching one movie after another. The one movie that is quickly banned from the Avengers Headquarters is Bambi, as it results in both children crying uncontrollably and Bruce turning into Hulk, ready to go and smash those hunters.

3. They spend most of their day running around either dressed as Buzz Lightyear and Woody or Kirk and Spock.

4. Before they enter the mansion Jarvis scans the children. Otherwise frogs, worms, garden snakes and other insects would make their way into the Avengers' bedroom.

5. Their PJs have tootsies because they are the most comfortable and it makes them feel safe.

6. They have watched _Harry Potter and the Philosopher Stone_ twenty-times and know the movie by heart.

7. Their lightsabers are real.

8. They prank the Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters because the kids that go there are snots and it has nothing to do with the fact their application to attend the school was rejected.

9. They read Captain America comic books and have all the Avenger trading cards.

10. They use paper clippings of the Fantastic Four to house train their puppy, R2.

11. They are most displeased when they are grounded by Dr. Strange. They had planned to prank _Stark_ not Strange, was it their fault both men looked the same?

12. They sometimes call, Pepper _Mommy_ since she gives the best hugs.

13. Two of their Bakugan Mechtogan toys are actually miniature Doombots.

14. They once took the Iron man suit for a ride.


	3. When a lamb is still a lamb

~0~

It does not seem fair to Victor that Loki has taken a shine to their tutor, Franklin Richard. So, what if the older boy could wrap reality and rearrange molecular structure? It certainly is not as awesome as Victor's doombots.

But no, Loki would not hear of any words that put his hero in a bad light.

It is bad enough he has to tolerate the boy during their lessons, but this – he glares in direction of the couch, where Loki is sitting next to Richard's spawn, is unacceptable.

Victor –

Doom, that is, does not mind being babysat by Thora, or even Valeria, Franklin's younger sister but that his arch enemy is sharing jokes with Victor's best friend –

"Hey, what are you doing all the way over here?" Victor just glares up at Stark, biting his lip to stop its quivering.

"Oh, I see." Stark looks at where Loki is sitting, beaming at Franklin and the way Victor is holding himself in place, hands on either side of him, in a tight fist. Stark bends down to Victor's level. "You know kid, I have it on good authority that Loki thinks the world of you."

Victor arches one eyebrow and his voice, even for a eight-year old is somewhat condescending, "This you know?"

Stark just laughs reaching over to tousle Victor's hair. "I have a way with the ladies."

"Loki is a boy." Victor all but shouts. Just because Loki is cute, does not make him girly.

Stark just continues to chuckle. A chuckle that turns to full laughter when Loki suddenly appears by their side quite displeased that someone has dared to touch Victor's locks, as only Loki is allowed to do so.

"_Kids_," Stark affectionately calls them. He will soon call them something else, when Loki's spell makes Stark's hair turn green.

~0~  
End  
~0~


End file.
